“Excuse me, General. But what about the fucking money?” Tony Todd, the MF’ing Candyman, getting over on Ed Harris like you read about. “…and mercenaries get paid.” Plus Bokeem Woodbine, and that dude with the bulging eyes who may or may not be in every Michael Bay movie ever. It’s a good thing Morse broke all the mirrors in that room during a fit of rage a few hours before they shot this, or he and “the general” might’ve had to deal with Daniel Robitaille. — Johnny Loftus

Tags: The Rock, Michael Bay, Tony Todd, Bokeem Woodbine, Ed Harris

Officer: “Why didn’t you let the doctors take the five bullets out of you?”
Ricky: “Souvenirs.”

Quite possibly the toughest motherfucker of all time, Ricky utters this gem in the first few minutes of the film that chronicles his bad ass life, the aptly titled The Story of Ricky. What follows is one of the most mind-blowing, laugh your ass off, holy-fucking-shit-blood-and-guts martial arts film ever. Eyeballs pop out, heads get punched off, guts ripped out, limbs get severed. Shit, even a face gets sliced off. The scene above doesn’t give away much of the, ahem, “plot,” but it does give you a glimpse into the amazing power of Ricky. Stick it in your queue and let him pound you into meat. More amazing video after the jump. (more…)

The Ninth Configuration (William Peter Blatty, 1980)
Somewhere in the Northwest United States stands the creepiest castle on the continent. It’s become the asylum for a dozen or so washed-up soldiers who cracked under pressure. From out of the thick fog comes Colonel Vincent Kane (Stacy Keach), the new psychiatrist. His treatment methods could be seen as unsound. He adopts an open-door policy and (more…)

Zero Hour (Hall Bartlett, 1957)

If you’ve seen Airplane! then you’ve seen Zero Hour, though you may not be aware of it. In the museum of 1970s disaster films, an entire wing is dedicated to airplane-themed films. A subject rife for parody, the comedy team of Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and Jerry Zucker cherry picked ideas from Airport, Airport ’75, Airport ’77, et cetera. Yet, at the heart of (more…)

Pretty Poison (Noel Black, 1968)

“The world has no place for fantasies,” learns parolee Dennis Pitt (Anthony Perkins) after he meets apple-pie sweet Sue Ann Stepanek (Tuesday Weld). He first spies her bearing the flag in her high school marching band as they run through a John Philip Sousa piece in the park. Dennis’s grasp on reality isn’t as tight as it should be. Later, as he inspects bottles (more…)

Full Contact (Ringo Lam, 1993, Hong Kong)

Hong Kong action meets Cannon Film sensibility in Ringo Lam’s Full Contact (aka Xia dao Gao Fei). The film opens with a robbery where audiences meet baddies Judge, Virgin, and Deano. A motley band of outlaws, Deano is a mohawked muscle man, Virgin is a drooling nymphomaniac, and Judge (Simon Yam) is a homosexual magical assassin in a snake-skin (more…)

20th Century Oz (Chris Löfvén, 1976, Australia)

Teenage groupie Dorothy (Joy Dunstan) is living in the land down under where she and her pal Jane (Paula Maxwell) spend Friday evenings at the local youth center catching unknown musical groups like Wally and the Falcons. Hitching a ride from the band, things go awry when their van goes in a ditch, sending Dorothy over the (more…)

Quintet (Robert Altman, 1979)

The first thing a viewer notices about Robert Altman’s science fiction film is how dirty the camera’s lens is. The edges of the frame seem smeared, lending the film a dreamy, flashback quality. However, Quintet is not from the past but the future. It’s a post-apocalyptic film starring Paul Newman as Essex and Brigitte Fossey as the (more…)

Dinah East (Gene Nash, 1970)

Released the same year as Michael Sarne’s Myra Breckinridge, this is a lower rent but far more successful interpretation of similar themes. The film opens with aging starlet Dinah East dying in the back of her limousine. When a lecherous mortician (more…)