Posted by: Martin Stett on June 30, 2008 at 1:53 pm

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Officer: “Why didn’t you let the doctors take the five bullets out of you?”
Ricky: “Souvenirs.”

Quite possibly the toughest motherfucker of all time, Ricky utters this gem in the first few minutes of the film that chronicles his bad ass life, the aptly titled The Story of Ricky. What follows is one of the most mind-blowing, laugh your ass off, holy-fucking-shit-blood-and-guts martial arts film ever. Eyeballs pop out, heads get punched off, guts ripped out, limbs get severed. Shit, even a face gets sliced off. The scene above doesn’t give away much of the, ahem, “plot,” but it does give you a glimpse into the amazing power of Ricky. Stick it in your queue and let him pound you into meat. More amazing video after the jump. Read more

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Posted by: Ryan Allen on May 9, 2008 at 9:00 am

Speed Racer (Andy Wachowski & Larry Wachowski, 2008)
Monkeys are funny. Poop can be funny too. That said, Speed Racer must simply be hysterical since it has both. It also has a lot of pretty colors that dazzle the eyes and befuddle the mind.

Starring Emile Hirsch, Speed Racer is far less concerned with the titular character and more about his younger brother Read more

Posted by: Johnny Loftus on May 8, 2008 at 2:00 pm

Defiance (Edward Zwick, 2008)

Edward Zwick’s follow-up to the better-than-it-looked Blood Diamond isn’t slated for release until at least the end of this year. But from this teaser trailer for Defiance, its story of three Jewish brothers who escaped the Nazis in their native Poland and became Read more

Posted by: Ryan Allen on May 8, 2008 at 12:00 pm

The Ninth Configuration (William Peter Blatty, 1980)
Somewhere in the Northwest United States stands the creepiest castle on the continent. It’s become the asylum for a dozen or so washed-up soldiers who cracked under pressure. From out of the thick fog comes Colonel Vincent Kane (Stacy Keach), the new psychiatrist. His treatment methods could be seen as unsound. He adopts an open-door policy and Read more

Posted by: Johnny Loftus on May 7, 2008 at 2:36 pm

The Happening (M. Night Shyamalan, 2008)

It’s certainly because Lady in the Water blew, and might be because his “American Express” ad and “Entourage” appearance were overblown and pompous, but it’s probably because no one likes a guy who tells you it’s his before you’ve even asked. “M. Night Read more

Posted by: Ryan Allen on May 7, 2008 at 12:00 pm

Zero Hour (Hall Bartlett, 1957)

If you’ve seen Airplane! then you’ve seen Zero Hour, though you may not be aware of it. In the museum of 1970s disaster films, an entire wing is dedicated to airplane-themed films. A subject rife for parody, the comedy team of Jim Abrahams, David Zucker and Jerry Zucker cherry picked ideas from Airport, Airport ’75, Airport ’77, et cetera. Yet, at the heart of Read more

Posted by: Johnny Loftus on May 6, 2008 at 2:00 pm

The Take (Jonas Pate, 2007)

The rap on The Take is that it’s already set to launch for real on DVD; this trailer exists only for the limited number of screens it’ll open on in order to justify a theatrical release. And that kind of rap usually means you should expect the latest installment of the Poison Read more

Posted by: Ryan Allen on May 6, 2008 at 12:00 pm

Pretty Poison (Noel Black, 1968)

“The world has no place for fantasies,” learns parolee Dennis Pitt (Anthony Perkins) after he meets apple-pie sweet Sue Ann Stepanek (Tuesday Weld). He first spies her bearing the flag in her high school marching band as they run through a John Philip Sousa piece in the park. Dennis’s grasp on reality isn’t as tight as it should be. Later, as he inspects bottles Read more

Posted by: Johnny Loftus on May 5, 2008 at 2:00 pm

Hamlet 2 (Andrew Fleming, 2008)

“The so-called ‘Supreme Court’ can suck my balls.” Poehler is going to rule in this movie, which otherwise sounds like one of those “misfit kids from the wrong side of the tracks grudgingly take a liking to and ultimately learn a lot from an outsider who does a fair share learning about himself in the process” movies. Fun fact: the guy who directed this also directed Threesome. — Johnny Loftus

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[tags]Hamlet 2, Steve Coogan, Supreme Court, Amy Poehler[/tags]

Posted by: Ryan Allen on May 5, 2008 at 12:00 pm

Full Contact (Ringo Lam, 1993, Hong Kong)

Hong Kong action meets Cannon Film sensibility in Ringo Lam’s Full Contact (aka Xia dao Gao Fei). The film opens with a robbery where audiences meet baddies Judge, Virgin, and Deano. A motley band of outlaws, Deano is a mohawked muscle man, Virgin is a drooling nymphomaniac, and Judge (Simon Yam) is a homosexual magical assassin in a snake-skin Read more

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