Posted by: Woodwards Friend on April 16, 2009 at 8:48 am
Red Wings mask latent homosexuality with sham marriages to LPGA golfers
Hey hey Hockeytown! The Red Wings playoff run starts tonight and they’ve unveiled yet another dumb playoff slogan. This year…wait for it…The Beard Is Back! By “the beard,” one assumes they mean the scruffy facial hair hockey players grow during the playoffs for luck. Or the Red Wings could be dedicating their playoff run to the ill-fated Liza Minnelli-David Gest marriage. The whole thing is very ambiguous. Like Mick Jagger or David Bowie. You know what isn’t ambiguous? Mitch Albom’s man-love for Pavel Datsyuk. According to Mitch, Datsyuk is deeper, thoughtful, and funnier…when he uses his native tongue! Hot. (Red Wings, Freep)
Detroit Public Schools wastes money on “summer school” program
Times are tight at the Detroit Public Schools where they have a $300,000,000 deficit. So why is DPS emergency financial manager Robert “Bob” Bobb wasting $52,000,000 on this so-called “summer school” program to help at-risk students catch up academically? DPS has no business wasting money on legitimate educational programs. Not when there are administrative conferences with all-you-can-eat buffets to attend. Did you know that if School Board President Carla Scott goes more than 17 days without a full steam tray of mashed potatoes, she could die? Bobb doesn’t care. All he cares about is educating Detroit’s children. Robert “Bob” Bobb is history’s greatest monster. (DetNews)
What is this re-opening shit?
The Free Press headline announces that the Dequindre Cut bicycle/walking trail will re-open in mid-May. Re-open? The thing was finished and sat dormant all last summer. Well ok, the Dequindre Cut wasn’t dormant since a six-year-old could get past the barricades set up to prevent people from using it. Still, the thing was technically never open so how can this be a “re-opening.” Maybe the Detroit Riverfront Conservancy hired a former Team Kilpatrick press aide, like Matt Allen or Denise Tolliver, so this kind of stupid lie just came naturally to them. Who knows? The Free Press should just put Elrick and Schaefer on the parks beat. Just to be safe. (Freep)
Davenport University has dorms
Based on the commercials for Davenport University, I always assumed it was one of those multi-campus degree mills for commuter students. Like the University of Phoenix or whatever. Turns out, Davenport has dorms and a hockey team called the Panthers and everything! Go figure. One of their dorms was evacuated yesterday because of some weird smell. This whole thing was probably set up by the Davenport Board of Trustees to promote that they have dorms. Like 9/11, the Davenport Dorm Evacuation (DDE) was an inside job. FALSE FLAG! Alex Jones knows the real story. (DetNews)
Governor Granholm embarrasses Michigan by caring about horrible tv show
At the end of this paragraph is a link to a tedious story re-cap of American Idol event. Who reads this crap? Since American Idol fans watch the stupid show, they already know what the article is going to say. The average Idol viewer probably can’t read anyway. About mid-way through this cockpunch of pseudo-celebrity journalism is a passage about our brave governor, Neville Chamberlin Jennifer Granholm, rallying Michigan to support an overall of state government a necessary but expensive road repair program some American Idol contestant. What the hell, it’s not like anything else is going on right now. Besides, American Idol can lift our troubled souls like Michigan State basketball. (MLive)
Tags: American Idol, Davenport University, Dequindre Cut, DPS, Jennifer Granholm, Mitch Albom, Red Wings
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“The Red Wings playoff run starts tonight and they’ve unveiled yet another dumb playoff slogan. This year…wait for it…The Beard Is Back! ”
I didn’t know Monica was a hockey fan!!! On the internet you can learn something new every day.
I rode the cut yesterday, and those fucking geniuses have signs with the GHOSTBUSTERS RED CIRCLE AND SLASH THROUGH A BICYCLE — indicating no bicycles — at the bike path entrances to the cut. I could not fucking believe it. Incidentally, everyone should go sit on one of the fancy new benches before they are tagged to shit, or hauled off for scrap like everything else metal that happens to be east of Woodward.