Posted by: Woodwards Friend on March 11, 2009 at 9:14 am

nullThe Palace is not one of the city’s precious jewels
Jay Leno’s free concert has sent City Council over the edge. They are officially in padded room territory now. Martha Reeves plans to call Jay Leno and let him know about venue options in the city proper, such as beautiful Cobo Arena or maybe Harpos. One problem, she doesn’t know his number. Monica Conyers says Martha should just call NBC and they’ll totally connect her because she’s Martha Reeves. The last time Martha Reeves was that relevant, a young unknown named Johnny Carson was hosting The Tonight Show. He’s ok but there will never be another Jack Paar. (DetNews)

Like voting, newspapers are for the olds
The Detroit News made Time Magazine’s list of ten most endangered newspapers. Actually it was ranked fourth. That means the Detroit News is as endangered as fugitive Boston crime boss Whitey Bulger is wanted by the FBI. Naturally, we are linking to this story on the time honored news source known as “Yahoo.” Hmmm…just promise to open the link in the story above. Ok? (Yahoo)

Dave Bing’s education status angers up the Free Press klavern
Dave Bing one time said he earned his degree in 1966 when in fact he didn’t actually finish his program until 1995. Meh. It’s not like was a drug dealer in college like, say, Kwame Kilpatrick. Free Press message board participant “BiggyD” (who looks like he maybe once failed a community college course) writes: “Well the list of black men I admire is now down to two: Joe Dumars and Colin Powell. Every time I read, hear or see blacks act like blacks I try to remember there are some I admire. That list has just gotten smaller.” The Free Press can eliminate the message board instead of home delivery. Let these slobs return to Stormfront where they belong. (Freep)

If Walker: Texas Ranger was a Philip Roth novel
So…Chuck Norris and Glen Beck are starting their own private Plot Against America Friday afternoon with a special broadcast to a secret network of secessionist “cells” on the Fox News. The show is called We Surround Them. “We” meaning Glen Beck, Chuck Norris, and Tim McVeigh’s militia buddies and “them” meaning the blacks. Also the Muslims and the gays. Metro Detroit’s “cell” will watch this historic address at Hamlin Pub located at…wait for it…22 Mile and Hayes. Show up wearing your best Obama buttons and vintage Harvey Milk t-shirt. (WorldNet, Meet-up)

Felon Kwame Kilpatrick is the Texas justice system’s problem now
Kilpatrick gets to take his sorry ass to Texas for his charity job from Peter Karmanos. He also has to pay $16,000 of his restitution before he goes. That means he only owes Detroit taxpayers another $984,000. Then the Judge gave Kilpatrick a good talking to about respecting the system. Kwame Kilpatrick now understands that it was wrong to fly on a private jet to Texas, lease a new Escalade, etc when he still owes $1,000,000 to the taxpayers. In the future he will behave with humility. Say, while I have your attention, can we talk about an amazing time share opportunity? How would you like a week’s vacation for the rest of your life? (Freep)

Hands Across Detroit
Yesterday’s State of the State predicted that Detroit would become the new third world cause célèbre, replete with benefit concerts and the like. Actually that’s already happening. Later this month, a ten-day rock show marathon benefit will take place in Ferndale. Ok, ten days of music sounds pretty cool. They should invite Joan Baez to bray on about this being our Woodstock. Hopefully soon the organizers can better explain some details. Like what this Bob Geldof-crossed-with-the-Trumbullplex thing is actually raising money for. Also, ticket prices. Yes, we are snarking on people trying to “help.” That’s what we do. Flame away… (Assembly Line)

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Comments

One Response to “News Hits? We Don’t Just Hit The News, We Beat It With A Baseball Bat And Leave It In A Shallow Grave”

  1. ACLU of Michigan on March 11th, 2009 12:01 pm

    ACLU of Michigan Alarmed By Recent Arrests of 49 Students at a Detroit High School and Calls on Parents to Contact the Organization. For more information please go to : http://www.ACLUMich.org

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