Posted by: Johnny Loftus on January 23, 2008 at 3:00 pm
What is it like in this world of youth, where a pedestrian tear-jerk cover of “Time After Time” by Hoobastankian California bullshit artists Saosin is considered the height of emotion, and prom is as cliched as the one shown in the initial scenes of this sure-to-be-truly-horrifying remake of the classic 1980 slasher film Prom Night? As it hammers every single last shred of worth out of the creative material of 30 years ago, Hollywood is retooling our young America as something more homogenized than a highway exit crammed with Arby’s, BK, and BP.
So then there’s a power outage, and some dude falls dead out of an air vent. Brittany Snow probably screams. And the rest of us pour one out for the slasher genre, which had its own balls cut off by an industry more than willing to color its rehashes PG-13 beige, as long as it can license the latest bland remake to go with its placeholder cast. In five years our uniqueness will be sold off like so many Arby’s roast beef sandwiches. — Johnny Loftus
[tags]Prom Night, Brittany Snow, Saosin, Arby’s, Burger King, BP, Hoobastank[/tags]
Comments
No Responses to “What a Boring Nightmare: Prom Night”
SHWFLYR
Recent Posts
- What’s On My Mind: The Detour Status Update
- Detroitist >> Detour >> Dyspathy
- Reviews of Golden Silvers, The High Strung, Immaculate Machine, The Sweptaways + More
- Dave Bing Won’t Be The OSHA Man Of The Year, Things Are Different In West Michigan, And Lots Of Newspaper Fun
- Russian Circles @ The Magic Stick [4.24.09]
- Never Let The Jocks Count The Money, Don Williamson Doesn’t Trust The Mails, And Martha Reeves Is A Big Mess O’ FAIL! Tulips Also
- Homemade Not Porn: Detour Talks to Matt Cassatta of These People Comedy
- Felons Love A Fierce Man Purse, There’s No Reason To Poll World Of Warcraft Because Mages Don’t Vote, And Faith Healers Keep Thinning Out The Herd
- Mmmmmmmm….A Statue-Sized Fistful Of Little Roquefort Cheese Morsels Rolled In Crushed Nuts
- Detroit, Lift Up Your Weary Head (Rebuild! Restore! Watch Silly Vintage Video!)
- The Weekend In Rawk: Russian Circles, Computer Perfection, French Kicks, + More
- Face Punches, Bitch Fights, Skid Row’s Yo Yo Ma, Heavy Metal Canadians + Jews On Film
- Peter Karmanos Talks Wacky, Highland Park Tries To Hide The Evidence, And Matt Stafford Will Be The Next Chuck Long
- The Night In Rawk: Pewter Cub, Black Lodge, The Sugar People, + More
- Rock Lottery Recap
- Detroit Misplaced All Of Its Parking Money, State Parks Look Like Meth-Addled West Virginia Trailer Park, And There’s A Rick DeVos Now
- The Night In Rawk: Rock Lottery, Life and Times, + More
- The Night In Rawk: Parkway Drive, Stick To Your Guns, The Madison Opera + More
- Reviews of Art Brut, Cryptacize, Firs & Spruces, Japandroids + More
- Pulitzer Committee Joins Adolph Mongo’s Imaginary Lynch Mob, A Plot Against The People’s Incinerator, And The Best Toys Were Always Dangerous
- Linking back, 8 May 2009 « archizoo on Mmmmmmmm….A Statue-Sized Fistful Of Little Roquefort Cheese Morsels Rolled In Crushed Nuts Hey kids, Check out http://www.dyspathy.com to get a preview of the new site's look and feel. Let me know what you ...
- Woodwards Friend on Detroitist >> Detour >> Dyspathy Shit! Now I have to change my favorites AGAIN! Serously, I can't wait for your new site and I ...
- Julie on Detroitist >> Detour >> Dyspathy Oh for kwame's sake why didn't you just sell the place instead of padlocking the doors. Are you taking ...
- cj on What’s On My Mind: The Detour Status Update Congrats and good luck. Now, let's work on getting Woodman to open for X. Cheers!
- Woodman on What’s On My Mind: The Detour Status Update damn you and your restless ass. come back soon.
- david on Detroitist >> Detour >> Dyspathy Supergay pitcher & catcher jokes make Mt Clemens smile. I'll just buy the shots, how's that? You just have to ...
- August on Detroitist >> Detour >> Dyspathy Hey. I'm sorry. I think it's my fault. See, I found Detroitist (and tried to make everybody I know read ...
- AmyinMotown on Detroitist >> Detour >> Dyspathy Cesarean in the sense that it's happening on the fly and done in order to save this baby. There's a ...
- Woodwards Friend on Detroitist >> Detour >> Dyspathy "...about the cesarean birth of Dyspathy" Do you feel like you're being untimely ripped from Detour-mag's womb?
- Norm on Detroitist >> Detour >> Dyspathy
Stringer Bell? Street from Friday Night Lights? Why is the director of Prom Night hanging out in my Blockbuster Online cue?