Posted by: Johnny Loftus on December 7, 2007 at 10:00 am
There is the potential for a spoiler alert in the trailer review below, and we’re pretty sure it’s not about the cameras that can see dog shit from space. Read on at your own entertainment risk…
This movie contains many farms of flat-screen computer panels displaying triangulations of dogs in multiple states taking simultaneous shits. It features clueless bureaucrats, sniveling techies who didn’t make the cut on “Bones,” and Diane Lane in a mom haircut. (Lane, coincidentally, plays a mom.) It features people saying “Oh my God” with conviction, as well as Tom Hanks’s son as Lane’s assistant in the FBI’s Internet gobbledygook lab.
Here’s the real potential spoiler: we’ve already painted Hanks’s son as the actual killer, and we haven’t even seen the movie yet. Why? Because if he hasn’t had a leading role that isn’t a comedy by now, there’s no way he’s as prominently featured in the trailer to Untraceable as he is without his being required to go bananas and try to kill everyone at the end. Sorry, Tom Hanks’s son. But there’s just no way it’s not you. Watch out for that dog shit. — Johnny Loftus
[tags]Untraceable, Tom Hanks’s son, Diane Lane, FBI, Internet, Snuff[/tags]
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