Movie Trailers

New Trailer: Hitman

Posted by: Johnny Loftus on October 5, 2007 at 9:00 am

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What if the Transporter films were not simply a homoerotic exercise in acrobatic gunplay and shirt removal? What if the man at the center of those films wasn’t a man at all, but instead a bald bar code with a bad attitude and weapons training? Hitman features a man like that, a man who is penitent before his craft, which of course is killing the crap out of supercriminals and assorted henchmen. And, of course, his adventures are based on a video game. The Transporter films and Shoot ‘Em Up weren’t original, but at least they were executed with originality — Hitman still looks like the video game it was, or at least one of those cinema-quality ads that push the release of some anticipated new title. Despite the “Ave Maria,” the slow-motion, and the hamfisted phraseology (”Engineered from darkness, protected by divinity! He’ll kill to bring us peace! He wears Prada, not Kevlar!”), despite a bald Timothy Olyphant, Hitman looks like the latest exercise in good, evil, and loosed ordinance to forsake even the vestige of a plot in favor of its parent game’s 1000% kill ratio. But it’s not like we’re putting out a plea for peace. We’re just getting tired of films that are content to shoot their own gun fight ballets, but bring nothing original to the table besides a weak new version of the “Who am I?” plot point. Are we really getting sick of gun fight ballets? Has it come to this? Yes. Bring back the punch in the face. — Johnny Loftus

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