Posted by: detourmag on June 27, 2007 at 7:48 am

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The trailer opens with Van Damme in the darkness, admiring the light as it winks off his silver-tipped boot heel. When he’s not murdering ruthless criminals, he longs for his days as a tap dancer. But then it’s a few seconds later, and time to dominate a few faceless goons. In that department, Ill-Fitting Suit definitely ranks higher than Roid Raging Asian in the Henchman Hierarchy. Doesn’t matter, though; they’re both summarily dismissed by JVD.

Or is it is his brother? That’s the crux of Double Impact, a movie born from it’s own tag lines. “There’s two of them,” the head criminal marvels. And then Van Damme says “Think about it,” no doubt repeating the exact words said when this film was pitched to its financiers.

Cue a montage of awesomeness. Thugs falling from high places, buses crashing through barns, and Van Damme laying waste via his fists (“One packs a punch!”) or his handguns (“One packs a piece!”). There’s light comedy here, too. Well, light comedy with a heavy Belgian accent.

The trailer’s finale is dominated by havoc and more gold copy. “Damn quick,” “Damn cool,” and “Damn hot,” the latter hinting at skin in the goofiest way possible. But these aren’t even the greatest lines in the trailer. The best one is on its way. It’s the one you’ve dreamed about, the one that got the movie made. and here it is, supported by a few more shots of head butts and boots bruising the lungs of bad guys in Pierre Cardin: “DOUBLE THE VAN DAMMAGE!”

This will remain the best trash action film tag line in history until John Cena makes The Marine 2: Double Trouble, where he’s joined by his brother (himself) in another fight to save that girl from “Nip/Tuck” from a villain we hope is played by Lance Henriksen. The tag line for that film’s montage of henchman beat-downs? “Enjoy the Cena-ry.”

Johnny Loftus

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